My First 50 Years
I turned 50 in May. Not sure how this happened or where the first 50 years of my life have gone.
Turning 50 for me, really made me stop and think. This year gave me the opportunity to reflect, lots of time to contemplate, a few aha moments. Time to journal, and some big realizations. I had more time to be more mindful, I wasn’t on the clock, I could spend longer periods of time in meditation and I had the energy to recommit to my health.
The ability to just sit, drink my coffee instead of chugging it back while I drove to work. What a gift to drink my coffee while it was hot. I eased into my day, instead of feet hitting the floor and off I went. I had the time to consider how I would like to Design/ architect my next 50 years. I think I have figured out what it is I actually want to do. Practicing more yoga, reading, studying, diving deeper into the Chakra’s ( something that has always intrigued me) The study of eastern medicine and the honoring of rhythms and seasons. It really isn’t all work and no play, me teaching people to Pause, is just as much for me as it is for them.
Satya in sanskrit is the study of self, what it is that we need to thrive, how we nourish our bodies, minds and souls. When we can tune out the chatter and noise of the outside world. We are able to tune into our own innate wisdom and knowledge. How often do all of us look outside ourselves for the answer, to what we truly already know. Less “doing” is how I truly want to exist, the more I push myself the less I honor what it is that I truly need and value. What are your Core Values? How do you want to Live?
My first 50 years on this planet have very much been about people pleasing, being a caregiver, and nurturing others. This role has been wonderfully fulfilling in many ways, but along the way I got lost. My will, my confidence, my sense of self was and has been non existent. As has been my energy, apparently I wasn’t suffering from hypothyrodism, low iron or chronic fatigue. I was burnt out, my inner light was snuffed out. Lacking the oxygen it needed to Shine. So after this forced shut down, this Pandemic Pause I have established new ways of being, created new rituals and routines in my day to day that honor rest, movement, activity. As in nature there is time to lay dormite, a time to grow, a time to harvest. So too must we acknowledge these cycles, as women, mothers, daughters. We need to prioritize time and space to figure out what it is that lights us up. Shine your light, love who you are, you matter.
Know that you are doing a great job, you're beautiful & you are loved.
Healer, Health Coach, Supportive Mama